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User blog:Fangirl4545/My Review Blog
Hiya! My name is Fangirl4545, I just wanted to make a Review Blog because everybody else has one (KidVegeta.. ECT...) so, why not me? Anyway, I'm just gonna show you a few thing's I'll like to see in a fan fiction. Please look below to see it. Rating's A = Super Awesome! B = Great C = Eh, Not the best, but still interesting... D = Bad E = Terrible but not Horrible H = Horrible What I Don't to See in a Fan Fiction *The first thing that I hate to see in a fan fiction is, Bad Grammar. Don't even get me started on this one. If your fan fiction has bad Grammar, don't even bother getting it reviewed. (But if you insist...) *The second thing I don't like to see in fan fiction's is, Crazy Super Saiyan Levels. I don't have a problem with SSJ1, SSJ2, SJJ3, SSJ4 AND SSJ5! You go up to Super Saiyan 7 than you're just over-doing it. What I Like to See in a Fan Fiction *I LOVE to see, Plot Twist! I just love them. If I see this in a fan fiction, I'll give it a plus. *I also like, Good Writing Style. Any style would do good if it's not crappy, and or not understandable. *I want to see, Character Development. Seeing the main protagonist sacred and wimpy in one moment, and seeing him brave and fearless in the next moment doesn't make any sense. I want to see the main character slowly become braver during the course of the story. This is pretty much it. Now, time to review. Please leave a comment if you want! Reviews This is my first review. I'm sorry if it isn't the greatest. 'Redder' Made by, Zeon1. Cons *A couple of Headers are empty. *"OMG CAKE!" is suppose to be spelled like this, "OH MY GOD CAKE!" *He doesn't have a tail. I would like to know, what happened to it? *He doesn't have the Appearance of a Saiyan. *A few unnoticeable typos. Pros *I like the it how Redder has a Saiyan Nature but, wants to act like a Human. It reminds me a lot of Gohan. (In a way) *Long list of Techniques. But, it should be made into a separate page. *His Personality is hilarious! XD *Him having amnesia makes his life a lot interesting... *I like how he doesn't like to fight his friends. *I like his appearance after three years. Overall: I find Redder as an interesting character, and I think the author intended to make him fun and loving. I'll give him a, B'''. Goku and raditz allies forever Created by, '''Super Buu 2. Cons *The user never capitalize the names. *During The Saiyan Saga, he says that, "Gohan gets really mad and fires a super kamehameha." First of all, Gohan never knew the Kamehameha until Goku taught him it during, The Cell Saga. *"Gohan gathers all his energy into a super special beam cannon and it hits nappa dead in the chest killing him instantly." Gohan again, never knew Special Beam Cannon. I believe he did know it but in The History of Trunks. Piccolo taught Gohan the Masenko. *"While oku and raditz are in the hospital from they're injuries from the fight, bulma and krillin decide to go to namek to wish back everyone who was killed in the fight." Who the heck is oku? *"So Goku gets dr. Briefs to make them a ship with gravity training." Doctor abbreviated is, Dr. not dr. *"So he's flys into the ship while (frieza is out looking for the dragon balls) and takes it." Mainly, "flys" isn't a word. "Flies" is a word. But not, "flys." *"After awhile Goku decides to finish things with a Super Saiyan Kaioken Kamehameha." Okay, Goku did a Super Kamehameha to defeat Frieza. Goku never did a Kaio-Ken when he was in the Super Saiyan Form. *"The blast obliterates frieza but then hits the planet and it begins to explode." First of all, Frieza is the one who caused Planet Namek to explode by doing the Death Ball. *"Meanwhile on earth, with piccolo ressurected they use the dragon balls to wish back krillin and the namekians a new home planet." The Namekians stayed on Earth for while before finding a new Planet Namek. *"The aliens name is cooler, brother of frieza." It was King Cold and Mecha Frieza who came to Earth. Not Cooler. *"Goku is clearly dominating the fight and then fires a kamehameha. The attack hits the android dead on and immediately kills him." Goku wasn't the one who killed Android 19. Goku did indeed do a Kamehameha but, Android 19 absorbed it. Vegeta was the one who killed Android 19 by, ripping his arms off. *"As the Z-warriors are looking for him, android 20 activates #16, #17, and #18." It was Android 17 and 18 who activated Android 16. *"#16 is about to kill Goku when gohan steps in and knocks his arm off." Gohan is too Good Natured to kill anybody during this time of DBZ. *"The fighting stops and the new foe announces himself as cell, and that he's here to become a perfect warrior by absorbing 17 and 18. Since everyone is weak by fighting cell easily manages to absorb the three androids." Cell didn't absorb them all at once. *"Cell decides that since he wants a challenge then he will give everyone 2 weeks to train." No, Cell didn't give them two weeks. He gave them 10 days to train. *"Goku goes to the lookout and asks kami if he can create 2 hyperbolic time chambers." You cant create two Time Chambers. That is the most stupidest thing I heard all day. *"Vegeta begins to wipe the floor with him and is about to finish him off when gohan suddenly transforms into super saiyan 2 and obliterates cell with a kamehameha." Gohan transforms into a Super Saiyan 2 when Cell killed Android 16. Gohan did the Father Son Kamehameha. Not a normal one. *I didn't see all of GT but it wasn't accurate in this fan fiction. Pros *The Buu Saga was pretty accurate. *I like how Raditz became a protagonist in this fan fiction. Overall: This fan fiction is one of the worst I have ever saw in my life. It's not organized, grammar is horrible, and it should be removed. I'll give it an, H'''. Goar Created by, '''Nobody700. Cons *Some typos. Not much. But, still noticeable. *Not many Abilities. Pros *I like how he's like Goku, Gohan, Goten in a way. *He looks just like Goku. That's awesome. xD *He's stronger than Goku. (As a kid) Sometimes, people need to beat Goku... (No offence) Overall: This character seems interesting, and fun. There isn't much on his page but, I still like it. I'll give it a, B'''. Dragonball GS Created by, '''Ultimateanime. Cons *A lot of grammatical issues. *Page isn't organized. It's hard to understand what some of the people are saying. *Gohan is much, much, much more stronger than Trunks. So, there is no way that Trunks could defeat Gohan. *Goken became a Super Saiyan God way to quick. *The fight with Deku and Goken was pretty short, and not that interesting to read. *The 9 Year Gap happened way too sudden. It should had been for one of the last episodes. Pros *I am enjoying the story so far. *I like how Goku and Vegeta both have another son. OVERALL: I am liking the story so far. But, it does need a big clean-up and fix-up. Since the story is still being made, I'll give it a, C'''. (For now) Bitterly Bothered Brother Created by, '''KidVegeta. Cons None for this fan fiction. Pros *The little fight with Frieza and Cooler was pretty awesome. *Everything is explained in great details. *The story line is great! *Cooler has an amazing way of training. Chasing bugs is a pretty good way to train. *I like the part when Cooler tried to kill Frieza. It is something that Cooler would do. *Cooler going to Earth to kill Goku? I like it. ^_^ OVERALL: So far, I see nothing wrong in this fan fiction. It's explained in well details, the story plot is good, the characters act exactly as they were shown, and all that other stuff. I'll give it an, A'''. Bultra Created by, '''Nobody700. Cons *A few grammar mistakes. Barely noticeable. *The page is pretty small. Pros *The Thunder Lightning Combo attack is pretty sick! I like it. *The Quote was pretty cool. ^_^ *The Trivia was pretty interesting... *The History header was also indeed interesting. OVERALL: Another fine work of Nobody700. Although the page is small, I'll have to give it a, B'''. King of fighters arc Created by, '''Nobody700. Cons *Some grammar mistakes. Somewhat annoying. "Save it boy. If you are lucky, you're opponent will be a kind man who goes easy on kids." The "You're" part is wrong. It's suppose to be spelled like this, "If you are lucky, your opponent will be a kind man who goes easy on kids." *"You're disciple is tough." Once again, it should be, "Your disciple is tough." *Some of the "I"'s are not capitalized. *Some parts are unclear. Such as, the transition to different characters. *"However last year, a 3 humans joined the finals." A 3 humans? It should be, "However, last year, 3 humans joined the finals" *"Ooh... I feel like killing this guy, and that weird saiyin boy, and that other one, and that giy with the ball" Again, it should had been, "Ooh... I feel like killing this guy, and that weird saiyin boy, and that other one, and that guy with the ball" *"His father taught him everything! His father taught him everything!" The words were repeated. *"Yes... the look will be worth the wait. It always it." The "it" part should had been "is". *"GET UP! I WANT TO CONSUME YPUR FLESH! I WANT TO DECAPITATE YOU! I WANT TO USE YOUR FLESH AS A CAPE! I WANT TO..." You could of at least spell "Your" correctly. xD *"Goar... He will see a hole new me." The "Hole" part should had been, "Whole" Pros *"He started to rub my ass, and said, "A master! Heh heh!" I LOLED so hard at that part. xD *Saiyans being a part of the Earth is not a bad idea. I like it. *I'm enjoying the story so far. *"The old man and...Koah, left the building. All three of us had just one opinion about him... "Mysterious..." "Pervert" "Very kind old man." Also a very funny part. *It was a great idea having the Announcer getting bored of the Tournament. *The fight with Bultra and Broccolo was amazing! OVERALL: Overall, this fan-fic was great! I just couldn't stop reading it! Besides the grammar mistakes, I liked this fan-fic a lot! To be honest, I can't wait to see more of Nobodies works. I'll give it a, B'''. Six Created by, '''Destructivedisk. Cons *Since when did Piccolo become a hippie? Pros *The story is explained in very great details! *The grammar is perfect! *Piccolo trying to act nice in front of people does sound like something he would do. *The story was short, but interesting. OVERALL: This one-shot is a pretty interesting and strange at the same time. (Don't ask me why) Overall, I liked this fan-fic, and I hope to see more from Destructivedisk. Since it's near perfect, I'll give it an, A'''. Sockie Jenkins Created by, '''Raxu 'Quarlxumee. Cons *Some grammar mistakes which is normal in a comedy, but still a bit annoying. *How could he not be old enough to get married? Pros *Moon school? Best thing I heard all day. xD *A moon-human going Super Saiyan... Impossible! OVERALL: I'm going to be honest, I've never seen this Raxu person but, he knows how to make a good comedy page! I really enjoyed it. I'll give a, B'''. Brave Created by, '''KidVegeta. Cons *I thought that the Wizard and the Council-Men was going to be a bit reluctant about the whole 'Kill Millions to Save Billions' idea. Pros *I don't see much Tapion fan-fics. It was nice to see something different. *The story is in amazing details, that I can actually picture it in my head! *The grammar was perfect! *It has an eerie-insanity feel to it. *Tapion created a MAJOR time paradox. *The ending was heartbreaking... *Sniff* *Sniff* OVERALL: Another amazing work by KidVegeta. One of his more emotional fan-fics. It's not everyday you get to see a story about Tapion! Since it's almost perfect, I'll give it an, A'''. Kinto Created by, '''Kameron esters-. Cons *Kinto is a full blooded Saiyan. He should have the hair of his father. *"Like Vegeta, he still wore his Armor Saiyan Armor" What the heck is an, "Armor Saiyan Armor"? *A lot of MAJOR grammar mistakes. *The Majin 3 transformation isn't explained well enough and is poorly written. *The abilities weren't explained at all. Pros There isn't any on this page. OVERALL: This page was very poorly written. If I had to give an example on how NOT to write a character page, I'll show them Kinto. I'm afraid I'll have to give this an H'''. Mo'o 'Ala- The Mighty Primate King Created by, '''Gozon. Cons I can't seem to find anything wrong with this story so far. Pros *Gozon has made his story VERY faithful to the original Dragon Ball. I like that. *I like how Gozon makes his current location part of his story. *The Polynesian/Indonesian words at the bottom of the page is very helpful. *The story, so far, is very descriptive. OVERALL: TBA. 'Sleep' Created by, KidVegeta. Cons *"They all came to him when they wanted to confirmation on a particular event." I don't think the, "To" belongs in that sentence. It seems kinda awkward for me. Pros *The story is very psychological and emotional by the way it is written. *I don't really see much stories on the Kanassans race around here so, that's a plus! *I like how the title relates to what Toolo did to his children during the ending. OVERALL: KV just keeps getting better and better. This story was very emotional and the ending was heartbreaking. I have no choice but to give this an A. Fanon's I May Review in The Future *Dragon Ball: Yami *Yellow *Dragon Ball Reincarnation *Broccolo Category:Blog posts